The Registration (or, "Can you get me into your class?")

I don't have any super powers. Really, I don't. Yes, it's true: I have no special powers over the registration system, Bear Tracks. Heck, I can't even do half the things students can in Bear Tracks.

To do lists? That's pretty neat. Swapping classes? Very handy. Watch lists that send notifications to your email or cell phone? Awesome! Of course, I don't need these features. Which is good, because I don't have access to them anyway.

I bring up my sad lack of registration-fu because all of my classes this term are full. Still, some brave souls come to each and every class in the hope that a spot will open up. They plead with me, "Superman, save me" or "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope." Nope, sorry. You've got the wrong guy.

I don't have access to any back doors in Bear Tracks. I can't add you to the class, and I can't increase (or decrease) the size of the class. I know there are empty seats: that's because some students don't come to every class. (By the way, I'm fine with you coming to my class even if you're not registered, but there is one limitation. If there are no more seats left and some students are left standing, that is a violation of fire regulations. At that point, I'll have to ask those who are not actually registered to leave.)

The good news is that some students will sit through one or two of my lectures and will say to themselves, "This prof sucks," and they'll look for another class. That will open up a spot for someone else who, presumably, finds that I don't suck as much.

So, really, the only thing I can do is, well...suck as much as possible. That will weed out those who aren't really into the course, and will allow students who can endure me to get in. So maybe I really do have special powers after all: I can apply my special powers of sucking! (Wait, I don't think that came out right...)

Why aren't you studying?