In these “Summer Vacation” posts, I’d like to show you the glamorous, amazing behind-the-scenes happenings in the world of a glamorous, handsome, and rich professor. Sadly, I can only show you the stuff going on in my life. Hey, it’s all I got. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I also strive to structure these posts around an interesting, unifying theme. Last year, it was (apparently) “doing something different”. This time, it’s supposedly “the working vacation”. Let’s see...
My family kicked off the summer by heading to tropical Hawaii. Ha ha, just kidding! Due to certain, ah, global circumstances, I am not comfortable traveling to any place that rhymes with “Shmunited Shmates”. Heck, I’m not even buying Hidden Valley® Ranch dressing anymore, because on the label it says that it’s made in the Shmunited Shmates. My decision is a deep cause of concern to my daughters, who consider Hidden Valley® Ranch dressing to be one of the essential food groups. (Seriously, one of them even dunks pizza in it.) Just buy Renée's dressings instead. 🍁
So, if not Hawaii, then what domestic destination is most similar to Hawaii? Vancouver. Yes, Vancouver. It’s been 18 years since we last visited, so it was time to spend some tourist money in Vancity.
We hit all the hotspots: the Museum of Anthropology!
The Bloedel Conservatory! The VanDusen Botanical Garden! And the utterly charming Shaughnessy Restaurant, located right in the garden. If you’re lucky, you’ll see hummingbirds right outside the window. (I’m not lucky.)
I overcame my fear of heights by being forced onto the Capilano suspension bridge!
They’re allowed to do cool stuff in Vancouver restaurants, like set off small nuclear explosions!
Stanley Park! The Vancouver Aquarium! Horse-drawn tours! Canada Place!
And (not to brag) the airport parkade. (Sorry, no photos.)
This was the summer of two important cultural moments. One was the 50th anniversary of the movie Jaws. It’s hard to understate just how big of an impact Jaws had when it was released. I got a Jaws-inspired shark joke book, and was the most popular kid in school for about a week, telling hilarious shark-themed jokes about people being killed in the most bloody, gruesome ways possible. (No, it wasn’t Jaws Jokes, it was 101 Shark Jokes, a much more hurriedly written book slapped together to make money off of the Jaws phenomenon as quickly as possible. Sample joke: “What hobby does a shark like? Anything it can sink its teeth into!” That passed a humour in the mid-1970s. I blame Watergate.)
To celebrate Jaws’ release, I bought the Blu-ray containing the documentaries: The Shark is Still Working, and the modestly titled but highly regarded The Making of Jaws. (The latter has a newly released sequel of sorts, made by the same director: Jaws @ 50: The Definitive Inside Story. Despite the title, it’s not as good as The Making of Jaws. Look how into Jaws I am: I even bought Shark Attack flavour ice cream! Made in Canada! It has blue raspberry (to symbolize the ocean) with grey vanilla ice cream (to symbolize the shark), and a raspberry swirl (to symbolize blood floating in the water). It's yummy, if you’re not at all squeamish about these sorts of things.
The other important cultural moment, for some reason (probably involving TikTok) was: Dubai chocolate. Yes, it’s good. But it’s not good enough for me to be on TikTok.
I took my youngest daughter to KDays where it was cloudy and drizzly, but that didn’t dampen our spirits. Thankfully, she’s not into terrifying rides that I’m sure are completely safe but nonetheless threaten to kill you the entire time.
So, it clearly seem that I have a dynamic and exciting life that most people could only dream of, I’m sure. But it’s not all fish-themed ice cream and exotic vacations. The painful reality is that (returning to my supposed “working vacation” theme) I spent the vast majority of the summer working. Those of you keenly interested in this behind-the-scenes blog will already have read my previous post on all the technology updates rolling out this year. I’ve been struggling mightily with all of the upgrades and replacements: Canvas, Microsoft Office 2024, Wooclap, Simplicity Accommodate, and Simple Syllabus.
How is the shift to this new and different technology going? Not well. Not at all. I’ve discovered bugs in Wooclap that no one has previously noticed. And I’m having so many problems with Office 2024, that the IST person who knows all the things about Microsoft actually told me (I’m not making this up): “I’m confused.” Brother, you and me both.
Dear readers and soon-to-be students in my classes, please be gentle. I know I’m going to struggle with technology this term. I’m going to mess things up. It’s going to be frustrating and confusing. I may break the classroom computer and have to wait for tech support to undo my mistakes. But maybe while we’re waiting for the technician to finish their repairs, I’ll read you some shark jokes. I have 101 of them.
Why aren’t you studying?
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